I think we put God on the shelf. God is always at work in our lives trying to bring us closer to Him. Sometimes His Spirit is more real or recognizable to us than at other times.

I would caution you regarding the JWs, Mormons or any group which does not believe in the deity of Jesus Christ or the personal nature of the Holy Spirit. A little bit of error (or in this case, a lot) leads to devastation eventually. Anytime we bring God down to our level or exalt ourselves to His level, we err. I think you realized that, as you mention recognizing the control and fear which was part of that situation. Following Jesus is the single most exciting adventure any human being can ever have. The people who doubt that have never 100% fully done it.

Ecclesiastes says that when we enter the house of God, we should be more ready to listen than to speak. We are to let our words be few. In Thessalonians, Paul instructs us to study to be quiet.

These types of scriptures remind us that listening to God is more than tilting our ear for 5 seconds and then saying, “Nothing?” before running off to our daily plans. It is also helpful to ask!

A normal first way to learn to hear God is by reading His Word. Then meditate on it. As you learn His Word as it is written, you can weigh the voices you hear in your heart and mind and discern whether one of them is the voice of His Spirit beginning to speak to you. It will be in line with the principles and truths outlined in the written Word.

Hope this helps get you started.